Hear Lucius tell about his origins in his own words! This file is a mp3.
THE LIFE OF LUCIUS TATE
He was born
in a watermelon patch,
His momma was pitchin' melons
when he fell out of her nasty old snatch.
He just laid there on the ground,
his momma watched him for awhile wrigglin' in the dirt,
He sure gave her a shock when he said,
Hey bitch! Pick me up an' check me, make sure I ain't hurt!
She just kept starin', she couldn't believe what she heard...
She knew that was her baby, but she was stunned and couldn't say a word.
Then he spoke again,
Bitch! Give me some tit, I need my dinner!
And untangle this fuckin' cord from around my weiner!
Whoa there, motherfucka, who you callin' bitch?
You might be a newborn, but I'll tear your ass up with a switch!
Here's your tit, you smart ass, now get busy suckin'...
I can't believe your ass is the result of a five minute fuckin'!
I'm namin' you Lucius,
after your daddy's no good rotten ass,
When I tole him I was pregnant,
that motherfucka disappeared like passed gas!
Little Lucius is a mixed breed,
his momma part black and Iranian,
His dad was a half-breed, too,
with the blood of an Anglo and a Mexican.
Lucius learned every cuss word known to man
by the age of seven,
Learned how to tear up a pussy
by the age of eleven.
Lucius was awakened one morning
by the ringing of the phone,
Lucius, this is your momma, you smart ass little fucker,
I just want you to know that we've left you all alone...
In other words, you little bastard,
you're the only one home,
and we ain't comin' back,
so you're gonna have to make it on your own.
But what about Bubba,
Leon and Darnell,
and where's Elrod,
Bulah and Chevelle?
They comin with me,
and we's movin' to another town,
so get it through your head, motherfucka,
we don't want your ass around.
Go find your daddy,
he fucked me when he was passin' through,
he's a smart ass motherfucker
just like you.
That really hurts, momma,
that just cuts me to the core...
Now I realize
you just a rotten, stinkin' whore.
I'll get even with ya,
I'll make sure everyone knows your fuckin' names,
cause I love to fuck with people,
and I knows how to play those mind games.
I'll fuck you alright,
and you'll get all the blame,
and everyone will laugh
when they hear Lucius Tate's name!